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    Performance Anxiety

    By on Monday, October 31st, 2011 | No Comments

    By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

    Beverly had suffered from anxiety most of her life. As a child, she slept poorly and often had nightmares. She bit her nails and would chew on the skin around her nails until they were raw and bleeding.

    Beverly had tried many forms of therapy, meditation and medication before consulting with me. She had a strong belief in God and prayed daily. Yet she was still anxious and could not understand the source of her anxiety.

    Beverly grew up in a “normal” household with two parents who seemingly loved her. Yet as we explored her childhood, it became apparent that, while there was no overt abuse, the covert emotional abuse was constant. Her parents were highly critical of her and would get angry and withdraw when she didn’t perform to their expectations. Her mother was not affectionate and her father’s affection was tinged with sexual energy that frightened her.

    Beverly felt tense much of the time in her home. Her parents fought a lot and her mother would often end up crying hysterically while her father withdrew behind his newspaper. What she did not see in her household was any role-modeling for taking personal responsibility for her own feelings. Her mother would blame her and her father whenever she was unhappy, while her father would blame her and her mother for his upsets. Beverly always tried to be a good girl and be there for her parents, but no one was ever there for her.

    It’s easy to see why Beverly was so anxious as a child. But what was causing her anxiety as an adult?

    The problem was that Beverly had never learned how to be a loving parent to herself, because her parents had not been loving to her or to themselves. She was kind and generous with others, but she tended to ignore her own feelings and needs. The little girl inside Beverly, her Inner Child, felt alone and abandoned inside most of the time. In addition, she was highly critical of herself, just as her parents had been with her. She was constantly telling herself that she couldn’t do anything right.

    Beverly was treating herself just as her parents had treated her and themselves. Little Beverly did not have a powerful loving inner adult to attend to her feelings or speak up for her with others. Instead, she was neglectful or critical of herself. Due to abandoning herself and not giving herself love and approval, she was constantly seeking approval from others. As a result, Beverly felt anxious in many situations with others – with friends, at work, as well as with her husband and children. She was constantly trying to “perform” right so people would approve of her or not be mad at her. She was constantly suffering from “performance anxiety.”

    Beverly saw that much of her anxiety centered around wanting to control how others saw her and treated her. She realized that she judged herself in the hopes of getting herself to perform right. She noticed that she was constantly seeking others’ approval because of being so critical of herself.

    Learning to be compassionate with herself rather than judgmental was a challenge that took time and dedication. She was so used to judging herself that she would do it without realizing it. Through her inner work, Beverly became aware of the fact that most of the critical things she told herself about herself were just not true – they were beliefs she had absorbed from her parents but were not the reality of who she was. As she paid attention to her self-judgments, she noticed that her anxiety was directly related to her judgments, false beliefs, and desire to control getting approval from others.

    As Beverly slowly learned to be a loving inner parent rather than a critical one, her anxiety gradually diminished. Any time it she felt anxious, she could now trace it back to something she had told herself that not only was not true, but was self-critical. She discovered that she had been using her spiritual connection as a way of avoiding responsibility for herself, rather than as guidance in what was loving to herself. As she opened to learning about what was loving to herself, she gained more access to and connection with her spiritual source of guidance. The more Beverly took loving care of herself, the more inner peace she attained.

    About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.

    Source: www.isnare.com

    Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=16835&ca=Self+Help

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    Set Yourselves Free From Anxiety

    By on Wednesday, October 12th, 2011 | No Comments

    By Aseya Me

    A terrified young woman sits restlessly on her chair as she faces her doctor. She has the look of a frightened bird about to take flight. Her body was tensed, her head keeps turning around as she glances nervously around the room.

    Her doctor asked what she was so afraid of, and the woman shrugged and told him “I really don’t know.” She was obsessed with the thoughts of dying among other things. “I seem to have this “spells” ‘, she said. I was washing the dishes one day, and out of the blue, I feel so frightened, I can’t move, I was shaking and then I can’t catch my breath and next thing I knew I wanted to faint.”

    She pauses for a moment “You think I’m crazy don’t you?”. The doctor shook his head “No…but I do think your are sick…you show signs of stress and anxiety and…you are suffering an anxiety over death.”

    It has been said that anxiety is being afraid of an unknown danger whereas fear is being afraid of a definite and specific harm. For the nervous woman inside the doctor’s office, thinking her death is near and was real enough causes her so much fear. Her therapy with the doctor in weekly intervals have helped her understood a lot of things. The root of her anxiety? She was having a hard time accepting her aging process. She becomes aware of her own mortality.

    LEARNING TO LIVE WITH ANXIETY

    Sometimes we are anxious over things that don’t exist. We imprison ourselves unconsciously when we ought to be free and try to enjoy life a lot more. Of course, there are real dangers of which we are afraid. These are genuine threats to our security and stability like emotional and physical problems. To feel anxious and in need of professional help doesn’t mean that we are “crazy”. In today’s hectic world, all of us have good reasons to react to events. Events like global warming, terrorist attacks, tsunami and add to that, situations that we have to deal with our own personal lives.

    From time to time, it is alright to have legitimate feelings of depression and anxiety. And if things can really go out of hand, a psychiatrist, psychologist, and counselors well-trained enough can provide the kind of help you need. But even with professional help, you must also do your part, you need to get busy and make use of what ever talents you have and not dwell on you “melancholic” moods.

    With the proper perspective you can get out of your obstacles and find the way out being trap in the cycle of anxiety. Most often, people are anxious because they are mostly stuck in the past than living in the present. It is not just plain nostalgia but it seems their “present” situation is not the way they wanted to be. Dissatisfaction and the tendency of past failures and guilt dominates us and changes our personalities. In addition, to much preoccupation of the future robs us also of our joy. We worry too much on what lies ahead.

    ACCEPT AND LET GO

    We deny and we don’t learn to accept our imperfections. We hated ourselves…how we looked and how others perceived us. A lot of people doesn’t even like the sound of their voice while others can be downright embarrassed if they are fat and too skinny. We let this illusion of beauty, wealth and success on which we get from magazines, TV and even the Internet be the source of our misery as we constantly compare ourselves to others. It is only through acceptance and letting go if things which is external is one way of lessening our anxiety panic attacks.

    Another clue to overcoming our anxieties is to know that we are not alone in our fears and worries. Anxiety is often an introspective activity and it thrives on isolation. But we don’t have to be alone. We are not strange and inferior. The moment you learn to accept who and what you are is also the time that you will discover that you are not set apart from everybody else.

    Anxiety is a normal thing and that everyone goes through with life with it. However, it also doesn’t mean our anxieties will go away and never come back.

    But the bottom line is, we need to control it and not let it dominate our own lives. There would be trouble, there would be pain, there would be sorrow but we can survive. Learn to let go and try to be free.

    About the Author: http://DrugstoreTM.com is a reputable online drug store. From sexual health to a woman’s health, sleeping aids to weight loss pills, our online pharmacy offers convenient customer access to various health medicines, including an array of health product and medicare

    Source: www.isnare.com

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    Symptoms Of Anxiety

    By on Wednesday, October 5th, 2011 | No Comments

    By M. Xavier

    There are 4 specific areas of impact on the senses from a full blown anxiety attack, and it would be prudent to examine those each separately, realizing that the level of severity within these symptoms will vary from person to person, and even in the same sufferer, from attack to attack. For the person who does not suffer the extreme pain of anxiety attacks, however, has a prevailing sense of fear or underlying perception of impending doom, all these symptoms will still be applicable, although in smaller doses.

    Physiologically, there are numerous factors that can be involved in experiencing anxiety. Please note, we are discussing extreme anxiety, not daily, normal anxiety that warns us of actual danger and evokes caution where it is warranted. Anxiety is a necessary survival tool, and when it is of an appropriate level in our lives, serves as an early warning system for what could be a harmful situation.

    The anxiety sufferer’s body is under attack. There is an unnecessary release of adrenaline, bringing on the ‘fight or flight’ reaction, this is when the body senses impending doom and prepares to either fight `to the death’ if need be, or flee for safety. Great reaction to real danger, not so good if there is little or no reason for the fear. An increased heart rate and hyperventilating can bring about truly unpleasant symptoms such as dizziness, and tingling or numbing that can spread from the fingers all through the hands, and can affect the face and feet, also.

    There is a feeling of becoming paralyzed, literally `paralyzed with fear’. A racing heartbeat, dizziness, lightheadedness, vertigo, and even chest pain mimicking a heart attack can all be present during severe anxiety. There may also be trembling, or uncontrollable shaking, and itching that leads to scratching yourself to the bleeding point. Eventually, left untreated, these symptoms will bring about exhaustion, however it will not be a peaceful sleep, and the affected person may well awaken with the same symptoms beginning again.

    Intellectually, or mentally, the overly anxious person is ‘just not thinking clearly’. Facts will not dissuade the sufferer that there is no need for concern. Logic has no current value, and even simple tasks may become too difficult to complete. The person begins ‘over thinking’ each move, even brushing their teeth must be thought through step by step and determined to be a safe endeavor. Talking to oneself, either out loud or internally becomes mentally deafening, and the person may feel they are ‘going crazy’.

    Emotionally, of course, is where the real pain lies. The complete sense of an impending epic tragedy is not to be overlooked. The terrorized person feels powerless to avoid the danger heading their way and feels totally at a loss to explain the fear to others.

    The anxious person’s perceptions are so distorted, they may feel as though they are standing outside of the normal pace of time, and that things are racing by them at an uncontrollable speed. Conversely, some sufferers may feel as though everything is moving so slowly, they will never be able to get `out of the way’ of the coming danger. This dream-like sensation can be more disruptive to the anxious person’s daily life than many of the other symptoms, since it has such a debilitating and distorted effect on rational thought.

    About the Author: For more information on anxiety try visiting http://www.BestAnxietyRelief.com a website that specializes in providing anxiety related tips, advice and resources to include information on anxiety symptoms.

    Source: www.isnare.com

    Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=148896&ca=Wellness%2C+Fitness+and+Diet

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    Anxiety Attacks – Can You Inherit an Anxiety Disorder?

    By on Thursday, September 8th, 2011 | No Comments

    By Bertil Hjert

    There are many factors that contribute to the development of anxiety disorders. All of them play a role in creating the necessary conditions for panic attacks, panic disorder and other phobias and anxiety to play an overwhelming role in your life.

    One important factor might be the inherited, long term or sustained risk that predisposes you to panic and anxiety.

    Inherited risk factors such as biological causes, childhood circumstances and accumulated stress are the long term problems that set the stage for potential panic and anxiety problems. In order for these long term factors to come into play, they usually need to be triggered or activated by short-term problems.

    These triggers can include excessive stress, trauma or conditioning. Once panic attacks or anxiety have entered your life, they only stay in your life because you are maintaining the causes that are fueling them.

    Your maintenance of panic and anxiety include nervous or agitated self talk, excessive worries, and avoidance of fearful situations.

    In people who have panic disorder or some of the other anxiety conditions, the alarm system is triggered even though there is no danger and many scientists don

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